When I was 22, I was grabbing coffee before work one morning when an older man came up next to me and asked, "You're having a baby?" I froze. Pregnancy wasn't something I was even remotely considering at that age and after turning a deep shade of red, I promptly left the shop. In all fairness, the new top I had on was particularly billowy, but it still made me feel self conscious for the remainder of the morning.
I was offended that a stranger made such a personal assumption based solely on looking at my body. It felt both violating and embarrassing and despite how much I loved that blouse, I never wore it again.
I was reminded of that incident recently when I posted an InstaStory of my slightly random dinner. I'd had a large, late lunch that day and was craving something light, which came in the form of a bowl of cut-up cucumbers. I got hungry shortly thereafter though, so I decided to top it off with my favorite ice cream (McConnell's 'Peppermint Stick'). I put up a video showcasing the balancing act of sorts, panning from the cucumbers (which others assumed were pickles) to the ice cream. And within seconds, the questions started pouring in. "Are you pregnant?!"
I know that people were coming from a good place, one that stemmed from excitement., but it was hard not to feel defensive. To start, I'm not pregnant nor have we been trying. We still haven't even decided if it's something that's right for our family, and it adds a certain amount of unwanted pressure. Of course, this isn't just something that pertains to me—it's such a loaded question that shouldn't be asked flippantly. Some women are desperate to get pregnant and have been struggling unsuccessfully for years. Others may be simply carrying a little extra weight around their middle. Here's the thing: No matter what, it's safe to say that you should never ask a woman if she's pregnant. If she's expecting, and ready to share her news, she'll let you know in her own time.
I'd love to hear: What are your thoughts on the subject? Have you ever had this happen to you? Have you asked? Share your thoughts in the comments below!