Whenever I get this question, I find myself wondering just how I honest I should be. The most truthful answer is: There's no such thing. Sure, I'm able to get my work done and still maintain friendships/marriage/motherhood, but it rarely feels like I'm doing a good job across the board. Those are truly once-in-a-blue-moon kind of days. Most of the time, I feel like I can do one thing really well and everything else is just good enough. You know that scene in the movie Babe when the farmer says, "That'll do, Pig. That'll do." That's what I try to remind myself most of the time (though I don't refer to myself as a pig). Everything isn't going to be perfect and balanced and it shouldn't necessarily be my goal. Instead, I focus being present for whatever I'm doing at that moment, even if at times that means compartmentalizing. If G and I are out to dinner, we're talking about us—not work, not Sloan, not errands that need to get done. If I'm playing with Sloan, I try to put my phone in another room so I'm not tempted to check my email or answer calls. At the office, I close tabs on my computer that will distract me so that I can stay focused on the tasks at hand. Ultimately, it's about knowing you're doing the best you can and acknowledging that that's all you can do.
I never take off my gaggle of gold bracelets—they're like my security blanket. On my left wrist, I wear a chain-link bracelet that belonged to my grandfather. It's the single most meaningful thing I own (aside from my engagement ring) and it makes me think of him often. My thumb ring was a random whisper-thin piece I found in my mom's jewelry box years ago that I slid on and never took off (to this day, I'm not sure she ever realized I "borrowed" it)—we sell a very similar version on the Shop!
On my right hand, I wear an Anita Ko coil ring that was G's very generous "push present." I like that on both hands, I always have rings on for my people—G's engagement/wedding rings on my left, and the one that makes me think of Sloan on the other. On my right wrist, I have a whole stack I rarely switch up. Two of them were my grandmother's, my mom made me two, and the tennis bracelet was from G. On my neck, I'm typically wearing my crescent diamond necklace. It's hands-down, the piece I'm asked about the most, which is why we now stock a similar one in our Shop. I love that it's both simple and dramatic and adds such a beautiful sparkle right at my collarbone. The pieces I change up most frequently are my earrings. On my left ear, I have three piercings on my lobe (the cartilage one I got a while back never healed properly so I took it out), and usually rotate between little Shashi shaker hoops, small diamond huggies from XIV Karats, mini-diamond stars, and larger hoops by Ariel Gordon.
I always struggle with this question. It's something that feels so so personal, and yet because I share so much of my life online, a lot of people feel comfortable asking it of me. Since it's not a particularly sensitive subject for me, I'm happy to provide an answer, with the caveat that it's not necessarily something you should ask other people. I know a lot of women who are struggling to conceive (in which case this question must feel insensitive and difficult) or who've decided to not have children, which they shouldn't feel the need to defend. But here's where we currently are: We're just not sure. Some weeks, we're like, 'let's do it!!!' and others we find ourselves so exhausted and overwhelmed that the idea of having another child is incomprehensible. So for now we're simply undecided. I'm someone who likes to feel a certain amount of control over situations and I'd be lying if I said I wish we had more of a concrete answer. If we stop at Sloan, that's fine. If we add one more, that would be great, too. But I'm finding comfort in the notion that we'll know what's right for us in time. I wasn't someone who was convinced I wanted to be a mom (which I shared with G shortly after we started dating) and when I turned 30, things just changed—I couldn't wait to start a family. So for now, we're just enjoying being parents to Sloan and leaving it at that.
Many of my friends joke that they'd either kill or divorce their husbands if they worked with them. There are a lot of perks of working with G—spontaneous lunch dates, getting to share in both the victories and hardships together, and trusting my business partner implicitly. But it's also really tough at times. When we have disagreements at the office, it's easy to slip into the comfort that comes from marriage and not address each other fairly as business partners. We try to always come back to the question of: Would I ask this/speak a certain way to one of our other employees? If the answer is "no," then it means that person needs to take a step back and change the way he or she is approaching the situation. It's certainly not always easy, but for us, the pros far outweigh the cons.
I wish I had more of an inspiring, simple-to-follow regimen that I stuck to and could share with others. But the truth is: I don't have a fitness routine I adhere to for more than a few months (at most). I credit my years playing competitive sports for my general physique and a forgiving metabolism that lets me get away with not being too careful with my diet. I don't have things that are off-limits since that just makes me want whatever it is that much more. Instead, I just try to balance things out and keep my portion sizes under control. I know that I have an intense sweet tooth so instead of depriving myself of scones/cookies/ice cream, I allow myself to have a moderate amount each day, making sure the rest of what I eat is rather healthy. If I find that I've put on a few pounds (only by how I feel/the way my clothes fit since I never weigh myself), I cut back on sugar and alcohol and increase the amount of vegetables and lean protein I eat.
G does most of the weeknight cooking, whereas I'll tackle larger one-pot dishes on the weekends. Here are some of our go-to's: a large steak salad with cucumbers, mango, avocado and cilantro, baked chicken wings with Wing Time sauce (we combine the hot with mild to find the ideal spiciness - the medium is never in stock), ma-po tofu, shrimp orzo, roast chicken, pasta al limone. You can find more of our weeknight meals here.
I see Stephen Garrison for my color and I love how effortless he makes it all look. At this point, I have pretty dark hair naturally, but want it to look as though it's naturally highlighted from all the time I spend by the beach (ha!). I ask for some really bright, light larger pieces to frame my face (it's the most flattering on me) with much more subtle highlights throughout. It's meant to look a little lived-in, less stripy/traditional, with some roots and lighter tips. My biggest goal is to not have my color look either brassy (which it was from age 15 to 25) or one-dimensional, which happens a lot with blondes. As for my cuts, Donovan and I alternate between lobs that are blunt, but not-too-perfect and keeping it long and healthy. Right now, I have a few face-framing layers in front and scattered throughout in a way that's very gradual and never "shelfy" as he likes to say.
For the past six months or so, the only polish I've worn on my hands has been Essie's "Gel Couture" polish in 'Flashed.' While I thought I might switch it out once summer ended, I've actually loved keeping the bright-orange hue on my fingers. As I wrote in this post, I love that having a "signature shade" means having one less beauty decision I need to think about, and this one feels fashion-forward and versatile, without taking itself too seriously.
Ha what a nightmare this was. For those of you who didn't watch this unfold on Instastories, a few months back, we had a flea infestation. I'd like to say it was just in our house, but nope—it was everywhere: the back yard, our guest house (sorry, mom and dad!), and even in the car. I received a ton of great recommendations from readers and compiled all of it and decided on the following: We gave all the cats flea treatments, vacuumed like crazy (You know that scene where Magda is furiously vacuuming after having taken drugs in Something About Mary? That was me.), and hired natural exterminators to come out. It was expensive, but I liked that we didn't have to actually leave the house (the coordination that would have required with three cats and a kid would have been not-so-fun). I heard so many horror stories from people who had tackled the situations on their own only to have more fleas pop up weeks later horrified me. Also, the exterminators had a year-long money-back-guarantee, which gave me hope that it would work the first time around (which it did).