Welcome to the very first installment of my new monthly series, “Ask Kelly: A Relationships, Breakups, and Dating Advice Column”!! If you have a question and/or a story for me about your own dating experiences, drop it in the Google Form at the bottom of this post–I’d love to hear from you. Think of me as your own personal Carrie Bradshaw (just maybe a little more internet savvy??) meets a Millennial E. Jean Carroll or Ask Polly; columns I've loved and admired for years.
You may be wondering: What makes me qualified to answer questions like these? Well, for starters, I’ve been through A LOT in the past few years. ICYMI, here’s the short version of my story: 22 year-old Midwestern woman moves to Los Angeles, experiences a decade dating in the big city, gets engaged at 29 to someone she met online only to call it off a year later (after recognizing she deserved better), spends almost two years healing and re-examining what she wants in a relationship, and finds her person on Hinge in the summer of 2021 (in a city she doesn’t live in… yet!).
Big love, big loss, years of therapy, and almost two decades of dating – I’ve lived it. These days my DMs are typically filled with people asking how my partner and I met (and how I've found success with online dating; it's hard!), wondering how I knew it was time to call off my wedding, how I deal with physical symptoms of stress like hair loss, and sharing their stories with me. I can promise you one thing: Whatever you’re going through, you’re not alone.
After enduring the unbelievable amount of work, heartbreak, and not-settling it took to find each other, my partner and I feel the pull to help other people make it through the lonely, soul-searching times, as well as the excitement and dizzying questions that come with beginning to date again and starting to fall in love. At this point, we’re pretty much experts at online dating, taking big risks, and surviving a breakup with no use for those hard-earned skills anymore, so I’d like to pass them on to you. (Not to mention, he and I are currently navigating a long distance relationship, preparing for co-habitation(!!), dealing with different attachment styles, and the unique challenges that come with those things).
There is absolutely no replacement for therapy–I am a major supporter of it!–but I hope my advice feels more like that of a trusted friend who’s been there before.
So…What questions do you have for me!? Whether you're wondering which photos to choose for your online dating profile, if you should stay in a relationship or go, or what to wear on a first date–fire away. I'm here for you.
Send them my way right here, and I'll see you in a few weeks.