Sloan's 1st Birthday

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Quick family portrait: On Sloan: Target Dress, Gap Shoes. On Me: Ulla Johnson Dress

Quick family portrait: On Sloan: Target Dress, Gap Shoes. On Me: Ulla Johnson Dress

This last year has been a blur. It all went by so quickly, yet each day felt significant and full. And now I have a 1-year-old. Looking back I already feel some of my favorite moments slipping away from me. I remember the first time Sloan really smiled. I'd been up with her since 3 am and was bleary-eyed and impatient in the morning light. But then, in the middle of changing her, she looked up and grinned. And it broke me. 

I now have a different appreciation for birthdays. They're full of meaning and offer a new perspective that can get lost on a daily basis. I've been thinking a lot about when things really changed for me and I keep coming back to June 6, 2014. That's when I first found out I was pregnant. And I was terrified. Even though I'd wanted to be a mother, once it became a reality, I didn't think I was up for it. I suddenly wasn't maternal enough, I questioned why I had given up a life that I adored, and was intimidated by the loss of control. And yet the minute I met sweet little Sloan and held her against my chest, all of those fears dissipated and were replaced by an overwhelming love.

This past Saturday we celebrated her first birthday with just our family. I baked her a cake, we blew up some balloons, put her in a party dress (that she tolerated for a short amount of time) and I let myself become absorbed in what turned out to be such a special day. 

Our family's go-to birthday cake

Our family's go-to birthday cake

She LOVED the cake (and then promptly smeared it all over her hair)

She LOVED the cake (and then promptly smeared it all over her hair)

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Rose-inspired

Rose-inspired

Four generations

Four generations

Hide-and-go-seek, cake plate edition

Hide-and-go-seek, cake plate edition