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How the 5 Love Languages Changed My Relationship

Posted August 27th, 2014

Have you heard of the 5 Love Languages?  I had always assumed there was one universal way to show love, but according to this theory, I'm mistaken. They're as follows: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch, and every person feels uniquely loved in one of these ways. According to the concept, the way you feel loved is also the way you show love. 

For instance, my love language is Words of Affirmation, which I find a little ironic since I also strongly agree the notion that, "actions speak louder than words." A positive verbal gesture goes a long way for me and it aligns with the way I show appreciation for other people. An "I love you" or "job well done" makes me feel acknowledged for things I'm doing right and I like to do the same in return.

The rub lies in the fact that G's love language is Acts of Service, which means my verbal affirmations don't have the same impact on him. Realizing this has helped me become a better partner. It was perspective-changing to learn that doing a task meant more to him than a sentimental love note, and though it may not come naturally, it's something we both work on. Interestingly enough, these languages aren't solely for romantic relationships but translate to friendships and parent/child relationships, too.

I'm curious to know what your love language is (take the test here), and how you've reconciled having a different language from your loved ones. 

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