Cupcakes and Cashmere

Quiet Reflections

December 18th, 2012

Writing a blog like Cupcakes and Cashmere has its perks. I get to photograph and write about things I love – fashion, food, entertaining, interior design. Oh, and cats (though I try to keep that to a minimum). In a sense, these topics are trivial. I’m not delving into hard-hitting news or solving any world problems. But when I hear that I’ve inspired someone – a young girl battling cancer or someone in the midst of a break-up? It makes me believe that even the simplest of things can resonate in a much bigger way.

It can be a challenge to figure out exactly what to share on my site. I want people’s experience here to be rewarding – light, fun, and a nice break from their day-to-day lives. But I also don’t want it to ever seem like I’m sugar coating things as a way to distract myself or my readers from reality. The shooting that took place this past Friday in Newtown, Connecticut rocked me to my core. I spent nearly every free minute on my couch, attached to my phone, desperate for answers that, of course, never came.

After a weekend spent immersed in the news, I wanted this site to be a welcomed relief come Monday morning. I blogged about an outfit I wore last week, and cookies that I had baked. But it’s also important to reflect. To be grateful for what we have and to think about how to move forward after such a tragedy. I read a lot of articles about what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary, but none that moved me as much as what my friend, Jeremy Davidson, wrote last week:

I can think about the school shooting only in small doses. Really painful. My first year in the classroom—and for many hours since as a learning specialist—was in Kindergarten. If you only knew what it’s like to be with Kindergarteners day in and day out, and to be tapped into their sheer wonder and delight for everything around them in school—a safe, fun place to learn and play—you’d know the profound sadness and empathy I feel for them, their peers, their families, and their community. Whatever the weapon, whatever the profile of the murderer, the parallel tragedy here is that we are faced with the reality that we live in a society that markets, sells, profits from, and glorifies violence—heavily to children!—at the expense of so many other human behaviors that aren’t valued (read: monetized) or taught enough in living rooms, classrooms, board rooms: empathy, kindness, understanding, friendship, citizenship. Instead, we live in a society where greed and fear have taken over. There is no quick answer here. It’s not just gun control. Or mental health. It’s the entire ecology. Until we embrace that ecology and examine the values that are endangered, rather than simply blame this or that variable, today’s and tomorrow’s children don’t have a hell of a lot to look forward to. What a disgrace.

For those looking to offer assistance to those who were affected, I found this article to be particularly helpful.

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  • Jenn

    Great post Emily, so true..

  • http://www.beingvera.com Sanya Sas

    “A hero can be anyone. Even a man doing something as simple and reassuring as putting a coat around a little boy’s shoulders to let him know that the world hadn’t ended.”

    I hug my mum tighter tonight.

  • Elizabeth

    Emily – I’ve been an avid reader of your blog for years and appreciate the welcome distraction and inspiration your posts provide each day. With that being said, I think today’s post is a well-articulated response to something that would be hard to ignore. I’m glad you chose to write about it (but would not have faulted you for not) and share your heartache. Thank you for staying honest.

  • http://glamourgirl-bg.blospot.com Iliyana
  • http://www.revelryrow.com Jennie

    Great job Emily! I think you handled it the right way. Everyone deserves a place to lose themselves and your blog serves its purpose. Often, people trivialize fashion, home decor, etc. and forget that it can be a calming force in life and offer something concrete that we can exert influence on in a turbulent world.

  • Gabriella

    It is posts like these that make me come back again and again. I have been a (quiet) follower for many years and appreciate your posts, especially this one.
    Thank you for being so open and honest, and for sharing real feelings.

  • http://www.revelryrow.com Jennie

    Great job Emily! I think you handled it the right way. Everyone deserves a place to lose themselves and your blog serves its purpose. Often, people trivialize fashion, home decor, etc. and forget that it can be a calming force in life and offer something concrete that we can exert influence on in a turbulent world.

  • http://korylaughingalltheway.com Kory

    Wonderful and thoughtful post, Emily. I read your blog every day and always appreciate your ability to keep things light. However, I think that’s something that can be quite hard to do in light of current events, and I appreciate your honesty very much.

  • http://arefinedoutlook.blogspot.com/ Crystal

    Thanks Emily for the heartfelt post and for putting a smile on your readers’ faces everyday. This post is so perfectly articulated, and I appreciate the link you included for ways to help as well.

  • Jen

    Thanks Emily! :)

  • joslyn

    Hey Emily,

    I love visiting your site for its therapeutic eye candy and for your wonderful insight into leading a colorful and beautiful life.

    I think that this post was necessary, even if its totally different from your usual style. Last week’s event rocked everyone on a very deep level and I applaud you for adding to the conversation. It takes a lot of guts to do that :)

    Love,
    J

  • Melody

    Thank you so much for this post. Although it was so nice to see your regular posts at the beginning of the week, I did wonder if you were going to address the shooting. I’ve been driven to tears at least half a dozen times since Friday, reading about the children and the teachers who lost their lives protecting those children. I’m still in shock over what happened. I think it’s important to talk about it and release the grief. I’m very glad to have seen and read this post.

  • Cathy, your Poor Little It Girl

    Your site has surely inspired me as a blogger. This is a beautiful post!

    Xoxo
    Cathy, your Poor Little It Girl
    Http://poorlittleitgirl.com

  • Jess

    Emily – thank you for this post. I am a long time reader of your blog and it is always so fun to see your new posts with recipes and outfits. It’s always a treat to take a little break and see what you have going on. That being said, I really appreciate your eloquent response to this terrible tragedy. I hope you have a great holiday with your friends and family!

  • http://www.lilieslattesandlace.com Kendall

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings so openly. There is something still so raw about everything that has happened that I am sure it was incredibly difficult to articulate.
    I love that I can come to your blog for inspiration and a reminder to appreciate the little things in life, but it is special to hear from the other side of you as well.
    Lots of love from Canada,
    Kendall

  • Ashley

    This is a wonderful post. I believe it was your blog that inspired me to find something each day to be happy about. Whether it is a little treat, a trip to the gym, buying yourself something new, or a great outfit. You inspired me to stop relying on others for my happiness and to find it in anything. This was sometime last summer after I had just graduated college, was unemployed in a new city and was really getting down on myself. I currently write a sort of “Daily Pick Me Up,” that I send out to people who want to subscribe to hear my thoughts… soon will be a blog… but I couldn’t help but address the shooting. I couldn’t write about what picks me up or makes me laugh without getting out how I felt. I am glad you were able to do this as well, and in such a professional and explanatory manner as to address the pure sadness. Horrible tragedies make us forget that there is still beauty in the world — it is important to be reverent and honor those who are suffering but it isn’t wrong to still try and find a small piece of happiness in your life each day, even if you are suffering. Great Post, Great Blog, Great daily escape for me!

  • Leanne

    Thanks for sharing the pretty. And feel free to share more of the cats.

  • http://www.honeywhatscooking.com/ Honey What’s Cooking

    I love your blog.. for it’s simplicity, inspiration, recipes. You are doing a fabulous job, and you have to wonder the people you touch every single day.
    Regarding the incident, it is very saddening, I really hope they will take action and place stricter rules on the gun laws, and stop making violent video games. It makes me sick to my stomach that a child (ren) lost their life because people want to own guns. Enough already!

  • http://www.Champagneandboxedwine.com Casey

    A beautiful post, Emily. Thank you so much for sharing that. As a long time reader, it has been such a joy watching your blog change and grow. Addressing real life issues we are all struggling to comprehend is completely your niche, whether you know it or not. Thank you, thank you for sharing again. xo

  • http://daydreamer-alifestyleblog.blogspot.com Jackie at Daydreamer

    Thanks so much for sharing Emily. This was very well written. I, too, am a blogger. I was in the midst of writing last Friday’s post when I heard about the horrific events in Connecticut. It took me ten times as long to finish my post that day because I just couldn’t focus. I wanted to write a reflection post but I honestly didn’t know what to say. I didn’t have the words. And I still don’t have the words. But I appreciate hearing what you have to say and what every other blogger has to say as we grieve and try to understand together.

  • http://scattergirll.blogspot.com Sophie

    Very inspiring and thoughful of you. xx

    http://scattergirll.blogspot.com

  • Erin

    Thank you for your thoughts and words of reflection, Emily. While I no longer live there full-time, I am so proud to say that I am from Newtown — a wonderful town and community that I pray is remembered for it’s inspiring angels and rich and powerful sense of community, faith and strength. Nothing, not even this horrendous senseless act on humanity will alter the bonds and love of our community has. I do hope that the world can see this and that it inspires change somehow, in some way. Please know that your post today is very much appreciated.

  • Patricia

    You are incredible :)

  • http://www.itsraininglavender.blogspot.com caroline

    Beautiful post. I can’t even imagine what those children are going through. When I reflect upon my time as a kindergarten student, I can’t even fathom trying to understand or accept something like that at such a young age. Everything may not always be great, but I am very thankful for the life I have been able to lead thus far.

  • http://lamiavitablog.com nicole marie

    thank you for this emily. i especially love that quote and am really taking it to heart. as a teacher all of this has hit me so hard.

  • http://theresekristina.blogg.no therese kristina

    <3

  • Heather

    Thank you for this post – it made me think, and I love the portion especially by your friend Jeremy. It’s something that everyone with small children should think about, including myself.
    I enjoy your writing and this was an excellent post, even if not your usual topics.

  • http://lilimoncello.blogspot.fr/ Lisa

    <3

  • Georgina

    Beautifully written Emily. I think you did the right thing with mentioning the shooting, even if this is a “happy” blog. Lots of love.

    • http://5thand59th.tumblr.com Elisse

      Agreed

  • sara

    I have to completely agree that your blog is an escape from the everyday- I read it before I go into work in the morning and it gives me something to look forward to each morning when I get up. Yet, I’m really grateful that you chose to post about Sandy Hook- it reminds us that you have just as much humanity and soul as all of your readers. Thank you for continuing to be an inspiration to all of us.

  • http://thesparklylife,com Alyssa

    Thanks so much for this post, Emily. I too see my blog as a fun, light-hearted escape for people (it’s about glittery nail polish and my life as a beauty editor, after all!), but I really struggled with how to post following the tragedy. I just wasn’t ready to talk about lipgloss–and I was/am still profoundly sad. Here is how I handled it, if anyone wants to take a look. It’s a post about how the shooting made me feel–and what we can all do now to find some semblance of reason in it.

    http://www.thesparklylife.com/2012/12/im-sad-and-im-not-going-to-take-it.html

  • Nicole

    This is my favorite post of yours, thank you!

  • http://lanielew.blogspot.com lane

    I have read your posts daily for probably a good two years, but for some reason this is my first comment. You are always so well spoken, and I find that you do give just the right balance to your blog. This is your voice, and I feel that posts such as this one help us to realize you are a real person with real feelings that we can relate to. It helps us to feel like we know you that much better, and makes you a more enjoyable blogger to follow.

    Love what you do, Lane

  • Meghan diver

    Though I love your blog dearly, I have never left a comment before simply because I don’t have the time. I have to say that this was an excellent post, thank you for writing it.

  • http://www.asliceofglam.com Amberly

    Great heartfelt post Emily!

    Amberly
    http://www.asliceofglam.com

  • http://styledbythemoon.blogspot.com/ Krista

    What a wonderful post. Thank you for this. I absolutely love your blog. You are definitely an inspiration.

  • http://prettybluerose.com Amber Genise

    In a world of so much pain and sorrow, “trival” things are needed. I appreciate that about your blog and I try to keep things light on mine as well. Thanks for acknowledging that you intentionally keep things light while also paying respect to the memory of the lost. Not only these children, but all that die too young.

    best,
    A. Genise

    prettybluerose.com

  • http://joyfelicityjane.blogspot.co.uk/ Tania

    Beautifully written. Thank you for this post.

  • http://frocksandotherfrivolities.blogspot.com Mandy

    Indeed, these are difficult issues to grapple. Working in the medical field, I encounter death on a regular basis and sorrow to a degree that many will never experience in a lifetime. This is why I made a blog called ‘frocks and other frivolities’ – with an emphasis on the ‘frivolities’. Sometimes you need that escapism in a world that can be quite dark, to instil hope and light and to keep us carrying through our days even in the bleakest moments. You definitely are an inspiration to us all Emily and you always provide my days with light. <3

    <3 Mandy xx
    http://frocksandotherfrivolities.blogspot.com

  • Evelyne

    Emily, did you lose a loved one in the shootout?

  • http://www.rachelslookbook.com Rachel

    I have to agree with your friend 100%… everyone wants to blame these types of horrible acts of violence on one thing or another, but it is more complex than gun control or mental health… him saying until we examine that values are endangered… so true and hits so close to home.

  • http://www.hourglassandbloom.wordpress.com Nicole // Hourglass & Bloom

    Thank you, so much.

    xo
    Nicole

  • http://www.TheSkinnyConfidential.com Lauryn

    Thanks for this post; you always put your feelings into words so well.

    Lauryn

  • Andrea

    I think that you, Emily, add to the greed mentioned.

    • noelle

      Agree!

  • Liz Lingelbach

    Emily,
    I read your blog every day. It truly is a daily reminder to keep things light because life is too short. I really appreciate this post. Have a great Christmas and New Year.

  • http://www.soyouagree.com Donna

    Beautiful and thoughtful post. Thank you for including this post. As a blogger too, I haven’t been able to find a way to put my feelings into writing to share with my readers. I appreciate your courage! You are a great inspiration.

    DMH

  • Savannah Thomas

    Emily,

    I am so so glad that you wrote this. I have a really big heart for children, and I relate to your attachment to this horrific tragedy.. I find myself crying randomly for these children, driving to work, doing my makeup, etc. It is refreshing to see that your blog touched on this tragedy with sympathy and heart instead of sugar coating over it. I’ve always looked up to you, but today I have found a whole new association.

    Thank you,

    Savannah
    happinessinherheat.blogspot.com

  • Lisa

    Thank you for this thoughtful and heartfelt post. Events like this certainly put things into perspective, and my heart aches for those in Newtown. Praying each day that they find peace, healing, and solace.

  • Katie

    thank you for sharing, emily. and very well said, jeremy.

  • http://5thand59th.tumblr.com Elisse

    Great post Emily. I enjoy your posts that feature fashion/cooking/interior design/etc but it’s nice when you write about more personal things like this once in a while (I think you once wrote about needing “a nice cry” and you watched some movie which was a great relief). That article by Jeremy made me tear up.