Cupcakes and Cashmere

Paper Thoughts

January 31st, 2012

{Seagull footsteps in the sand}

On Sunday night, I was feeling overwhelmed – about my busy week, upcoming speaking engagements (here and here), and a few unfinished details about the wedding. As I was getting ready for bed, I brought back one of the most helpful tricks I learned while writing my thesis in college. I pulled out a notepad and started writing down all of the things that were on my mind that were either small (finalize hotel reservations for Austin during SXSW) or large (finish editorial calendar for the next three months).

While seeing it all on paper was pretty nerve wracking (especially when my list topped off at six pages), it allowed me to refocus my energy, relax, and most importantly, to gain some perspective. My schedule is undeniably packed, but my list of worries is seemingly insignificant in comparison to larger things like my relationships, the health of my loved ones, and my overall happiness.

Do you have any tricks for tackling anxiety?

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  • http://lapetitegigi.blogspot.com La Petite Gigi

    I often feel like we are on the same page when it comes to overwhelming work responsibilities and personal goals. I hope you (and I) overcome this stressful time and see a light at the end of the tunnel soon! We are strong, capable, and forward-thinking women who will rule the world! You can do it, girl.

    xoxo,
    La Petite Gigi

  • http://www.getawordinvegwise.com Tori @ Get a Word in Veg Wise

    Bubble baths with champagne have yet to let me down.

    But more importantly…you’re coming to SXSW? Amazing!

  • emily

    hi emily – so exciting that you’ll be here for sxsw!! I need to find a way to go see your presentation. Let me just warn you though, Austin is super crazy during that time. I recommend making dinner reservations if you have a couple must-hit places. These are my absolute favorites: Perla’s, Lamberts, Franklin, whatever you do, do not miss UCHI!

    for margaritas with a fun scene: La Condesa/Malverde

    feel free to email me if you want any more recos :)

  • http://www.365til30.com Kate365til30

    I like your tactic for beating anxiety. I suffer from anxiety often. A few things that help me are…
    1. writing morning pages. Which I do before I start my day. I grab a cup of coffee and write 3 pages of whatever comes to my mind. Anything. It helps me regain focus.
    2. Yoga, yoga, yoga
    3. Putting all my to-do list things in different categories depending on their importance. So I know what to tackle first and don’t get overwhelmed.
    Congrats on all the continued success and good luck staying calm and focused!!!
    xoxxo
    Kate
    http://www.365til30.com

  • http://www.lemonsandloafers.com Lemons and Loafers

    great tip! i also wrote a thesis at scripps and totally feel you on this :)

  • http://www.ilthis.com Holly

    Running and checklists. Break your checklist into days and check everything off as you go. For me it’s running but whatever you can do to relieve anxiety just do it. even if it has to be done at 5AM it’s worth it.

  • http://www.honeywhatscooking.com honeywhatscooking

    To release stress.. I make a list of what I need to do. I do 1-2 things a day to avoid stressing myself out. It could be as little as making a phone call or going to meet with a vendor.
    I also bake… eat cupcakes and drink tea. Have a friend over to talk and discuss over tea. :-)
    http://www.honeywhatscooking.com/

  • http://www.founditonapostednote.wordpress.com founditonapostednote

    I usually go for a really hard run on the eliptical (don’t make fun, I have bad knees!). Making a list also helps. But at one point in my life, I had bad, bad anxiety. I talked to my friend who is a psychologist for advice. That really helped (mixed with some prayer).

  • http://www.thebrownumbrella.com Kate

    That is the same trick that I use in tackling my overwhelmed mind. I have to see things on paper because it helps me to organize and see my thoughts.

    On another note, I am excited that you will be coming to Austin for SxSW, and I look forward to seeing your take on the goings on about town. If you need any suggestions of places to eat or go, I would be happy to help!

  • http://www.laceandfadedjeans.com/ Jess

    It’s kind of surprising to read that you feel overwhelmed and can suffer from a little anxiety spell. As a reader seeing all your gorgeous pictures, videos and lovely home, it’s easy to forget that you are just a normal person. Tea…I usually drink some warm tea, nothing that will make me feel asleep but definitely something to calm my nerves. Also, just breathing in and out really deeply, that helps a lot. Good with your speaking engagements. xx

    http://www.laceandfadedjeans.com/

  • http://jaclynpacheco.blogspot.com/ Jaclyn

    I do the same thing and while it is daunting to see all of the things you have to do written down on paper, it helps me prioritize the list and I often realize that many of the tasks I’m most overwhelmed by can actually be taken care of in quite a short amount of time.
    And it’s even more satisfying to cross out the tasks as you finish them!

  • http://www.lemondroplove.com Lemon Drop Love

    Though we aren’t going through exactly the same things, I feel like I have been on an Anxiety roller coaster since August. A couple of things that have helped me cope are: Making time for my relationship (date nights or just simple quite drinks at home), making time for me (which can be the hardest sometimes, I have tried to keep it simple, like quite walks, and at home workout DVD’s and baths paired with a glass of red wine, etc.). Always remember that this too will pass and you can’t get EVERYTHING done, prioritize and don’t be shy to ask for help (also, something that has been hard to do). I have also come up with a relaxing ritual before I go to bed (hot shower, or face mask then hot tea in bed while browsing my iPad). Lists are great, but I also try and talk about the things that are overwhelming me, and for some reason, once i get the thoughts out of my head and into the air, I seem to process things better.

    Hope this helps! :)
    xx Jen

  • http://snacktive.blogspot.com Heather

    Even though you’re so busy, thanks for always taking the time to do a blog post each day. Your posts always brighten my mornings.

  • http://louwhatwear.com danielle

    I’m like you, I have to make a list to quiet the anxiety. Being able to cross something (anything) off the list is so rewarding.

    you’ll get through it all and don’t forget to ask for help on things (you know, the little ones that can’t get messed up by someone who “doesn’t get it”)

    xo danielle
    http://louwhatwear.com

  • http://www.shawneedreaming.blogspot.com Shawnee

    I also write lists of everything that is on my mind – along with journaling. It helps so much and I hate when I don’t take the time to do so, because as soon as I do – boom – stress level dips way down! Talking to good friends about it also helps! and running when I have the time! :) xo

  • http://bevyblogs.blogspot.com bevy

    I’m just curious how you plan three months of editorial content. Is it as detailed as to exactly what outfits you’re planning, recipes, etc? Do share if you can.

  • http://godlygirlz.blogspot.com AnnaKate

    Prayer-journaling has become one of my favorite parts of my day. I love laying my day before God, surveying my sin and the times when He helped me to glorify Him. Whether I have something on my mind, a packed schedule, or a sin to confess, it goes in the journal and before the Lord.

  • http://quietluxe.blogspot.com/ Shelly

    a nice glass of red wine with my meal at the end of a stressful day is always relaxing. if i need to relieve stress during the day, taking 5 min break focusing out the window always works!

    -Shelly

  • http://hautestandards.blogspot.com B.Weber

    My therapy is running. Good for your mind and body.

    HauteStandards

  • http://www.luvandkiwi.com Tish

    Yup! Xanax and a personal assistant lol.

  • http://fashiongalfireman.blogspot.com/ VANESSA

    i’m a list-maker too! it’s the only thing that seems to help :)

    xo! vanessa (the gal)

    http://fashiongalfireman.blogspot.com/

  • http://gottaloveitshea.blogspot.com/ Shea

    I am definitely going to try this! Thank you so much for the constant inspiration!

    XOXO,
    Shea

    http://gottaloveitshea.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.thebeautyfile.com Lisi

    I’m not a pro at tackling anxiety. My tendency has always been to wait just a little bit too long until it becomes totally unmanageable. For me, talking about it with someone {my best friend, my mom or occasional therapist} works best. They never really judge and always have a really helpful suggestion that steers me down course. Then I can pull back and actually tackle the thing that’s stressing me out, rather than letting it just simmer. I’m also a little bit of a procrastinator so for my school work I’ve been trying to start things as early as possible because it’s one thing I can forget about then. You’re totally allowed to be super stressed right before your wedding, I’d be concerned if you weren’t!

  • http://beautyandthepen.com Lana

    I cry … granted, that only helps for a bit.

  • Susy

    In your head say “Only good things can happen” over and over again until you believe it. I do this whenever I hear strange noises in my house at night and it calms me down. I haven’t had a nightmare for the last 6 months since I started doing it.

  • http://nosweatsallowed.blogspot.com Emily

    I can’t believe you’re speaking at SXSW! I went last year and it is truly one of my favorite experiences. You’ll be sure to have a highly captive audience!

    -E
    http://nosweatsallowed.blogspot.com

  • http://www.seemefit.com Jen

    Keeping things in perspective definitely helps with tackling anxiety. I ask myself if my current stressor will truly matter in a week, month or year and often times the answer is “no, this is insignificant”. This doesn’t do away with deadlines, but it does keep things in perspective.

    Regarding a busy schedule, I typically organize my life around deadlines and utilize checklists. When there’s a lot going on that require multiple steps (i.e: preparing for travel, planning a wedding) the date is my deadline but I’ll create mini-deadlines to keep things feasible.

    Lastly, don’t neglect yourself and your needs. We can all take 5 minutes to sit in quiet and focus on our breathing. Hope this helps :-)

  • http://juliakristina.com Julia

    List making… just like you did… and then I break it up into non-overwhelming and manageable chunks. I love how chipping away at smaller, easily achievable goals results in great big goals being accomplished.

  • http://loverofclothes.com Delaney

    I have to take it one day at a time. I am currently a college student, running my own blog, working, and still trying to enjoy the moments I can. Recently I got four calendars that stick to my wall. I use two for my personal life. On these I write when I need to accomplish things by or when I have appointments. The other two I use for work and my blog. By using the two different calendars I don’t become overwhelmed with all the things I have to do in one day. It allows me to visualize what I need to accomplish so I know where I can squeeze a little free time. We all have our different ways, hopefully you’ll find one that works great for you.

  • http://sobeanie.blogspot.com/ Justine

    I had this same thing happen to me last week, with a trip to Germany for 10 days for work lingering over my head, I had too much to do and so little time. (the trip starts tonight) I finally say back wrote a to do list, and realized as long as my family, my finace are happy and healthy, there are bigger fish to fry out there. You will kill it at SXSW, many of my co-workers and friends are VERY excited to hear you speak! =)

    Love this.
    xx
    Justine

    http://sobeanie.blogspot.com

  • http://hotpinkcouture.blogspot.com/ Olga

    I think making lists is the best way of dealing with anxiety. They help put everything in prospective, and crossing things off will make you feel so great (although I usually end up adding more and more things instead). Don’t worry – everything will settle down. You can do it! We all believe in you :)

    xoxo Olga
    http://hotpinkcouture.blogspot.com/

  • http://mereandthemr.blogspot.com/ Meredithq

    I categorize my thoughts (i.e. Wedding, Work, Prject, Personal, etc…) Then I draw boxes on a page. Each box size is representative of the ammount of stress/work I need to put into that particular category. The category goes in the middle of the box with all the smaller tasks I have to do surrounding it. As I complete a task I mark it off. As the items I have marked off increase I re-make my list and see the category box sizes getting smaller. I always keep the old sheets so I see I am making imporvement.

  • natalie

    Sweat–cardio, cardio, cardio, running, and more cardio, makes me tired so I can sleep even though I’m stressed!

    BTW–you make stress look effortless. Your blog is one of my favorite things to check every single day! Keep it up.

  • http://laceandloveletters.blogspot.com/ Haley

    Tea, a hot shower, a long hug… Sorry you’re feeling stressed.

    You must stay at Hotel San Jose in Austin. I stayed there last summer and it is SOOOOO amazing, you would love it. Did a post on it here: http://laceandloveletters.blogspot.com/2011/09/deep-in-heart-of-texas.html.

  • Lauryn

    I use Google calendars and “reminders” on my iPhone. They’re so helpful because they keep me organized…with four jobs they help out immensely :) .

    http://www.TheSkinnyConfidential.com

  • http://giraffelegs.com Nicole @ Giraffelegs

    When I am freaking out, I try and think about the next week or month. Like sure this week might suck, but I know that in less than 7 days I will have a chill week and fantastic end products of all the hard work I have put in. That always makes me feel better.

    xx giraffelegs.com

  • http://becauseimtwentysomething.blogspot.com/ Jessica

    Emily!! Try Joanna’s Grand Canyon trick! It works!! :)

    http://joannagoddard.blogspot.com/search?q=GRAND+CANYON

  • http://robynsafricanadventures.blogspot.com/ Robyn

    yoga-focus on your body to quiet the mind

  • http://Www.winksmilestyle.com Josie

    I stress like nobody’s business. But writing anlist always helps me, too. It really puts things in perspective. We all need to take a minute once in awhile to be stressed and get organized… And I bet you’re ticking those items off at a fantastic pace today! Hope you’re feeling better about things, love!
    xo Josie
    http://www.winksmilestyle.com

  • http://materialfixations.blogspot.com/ Material fixations

    Making lists is like the most relaxing thing ever. It’s stressful having so many things to do, but it’s much more stressful when you know you’ve forgotten one.

  • http://vitaldish.com/ Danielle

    Great idea! I recommend a similar writing assignment to my stressed-out, over-worked clients. It really helps.

  • http://www.monmodegethooked.com/ MonMode

    Take a deep breath, and remind yourself that no matter what, you’re going to be okay! As you said, you are in good health, and you are lucky to be so busy when many are unemployed and idle!

    http://www.monmodegethooked.com
    @HookedOnMonMode

  • http://whiterosesandcoffee.blogspot.com/ Joanne

    Hi Emily, I read A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle when I’m stressed. Hope that helps! xo Jo

    http://whiterosesandcoffee.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.theafeminada.com Grace Escudero – The Afeminada

    I do the same thing!

    -Grace

    http://www.theafeminada.com

  • http://brookelyse.blogspot.com Brooke Elyse

    Writing things down is how I cope as well, or how I keep track of my chaos. One of my stress relievers is to take a nap, watch a movie, color, organize, or close my eyes for a good 5 minutes and just breathe deeply. Also- prioritizing things helps!

  • http://www.bigstarusa.com Victoria

    I my mind tends to run at a high speed when I start to realize I have a lot of things pending. Instead trying to stop it I let it naturally pass by system. Afterwards, I sit back take a breather and begin to make a to-do list. I always write my to-do list on scratch paper, and always go ape sh*t before writing it. Lol It’s a process.

  • http://www.by-becky.com by Becky

    Maybe you could try progressive muscle relaxation. You clench bits of your body for a few seconds each and then release. Start with your feet and work your way up your body to your head and face. You’ll instantly feel more relaxed :-) x

  • http://www.christinelovestotravel.blogspot.com Christine

    Deep breathing helps and focus on each task at a time so you don’t get overwhelmed.

  • http://sassysouthernliving.wordpress.com/ Lindsey Long

    I need to start doing this; I get so overwhelmed at bedtime. That is when I think about everything I need to accomplish tomorrow—such an annoying habit.

  • http://carolinand.blogspot.com Carolin.

    What a cute post :)
    I always need some fresh cold air to relax. So a short walk can help me to feel better!