Cupcakes and Cashmere

Deposited Love

August 23rd, 2012

Yesterday I cried…at the bank. I was in the process of closing my account, answering a bunch of mundane questions – the last four digits of my social security number, where the account was opened…and then the cashier asked the one I had been dreading, “Who was with you when you opened this account?” It was my late grandfather, Zoltan Lazar. He had taken me to the bank when I was nine years old so I could get my own debit card and he put $100 into my savings account (at the time, I was fairly convinced I could purchase a house with that money). I remember feeling elated as I walked out into the parking lot. Nobody had ever given me such responsibility and I promised to keep it safe, tucked away in my velcro wallet.

It goes without saying that there are certain milestones in our lives that remind us of those who have passed – my college graduation, when I got my first job, our wedding day. But those times when you’re not expecting it are sometimes the most piercing. I managed not to have a complete meltdown at the Wells Fargo, quietly slipping out to my car just in time to feel the tears stain my cheeks.

I will no longer see “customer since 1992″ on my bank card. I’ll save it though, stored away in a folder, deactivated. I’ll never lose the memory, but it’s nice to know that I can still look at it from time to time.

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  • Niko

    You made me cry! Touching story…

  • Elizabeth

    Hi Emily – - Have you been adjusting blogger settings or something? Your posts are repeating in massive waves in blogger reader… Just wanted to let you know something weird is happening. :)

  • http://www.simple-fabulous.blogspot.com Nicole

    That is really touching and I can understand how you feel!

    Kisses from Hong Kong,
    Nicole

  • http://www.annarsbra.blogspot.se Anna

    So beautifully written. Thank you for sharing, it is so true about the unplanned special times that comes to mean so much. I love your blog!
    Hugs and kisses from Anna in Sweden

  • Carmen

    Dear Emily,

    Was your grandfather from Romania? He has such a Romanian name, very typically from the part of Romania where I am from.

  • Joana

    totally understand that kind of feeling. There are some moments that you just want those people to be there, and you know that’s not possible. big kiss from Portugal

  • Poppy Keane

    My Grandfather passed away when I was very young and I was too small to have beautiful memories like that. You are very lucky indeed.
    http://www.cestbeaute.com

  • Andrea

    Emily, that post really touched my heart. Yours posts always put a smile on my face. x

  • http://fashionandmargarita.blogspot.com vveronika

    surprised to see so many Hungarian followers here :) Emily have you ever been there? if ever planning a visit let us know to give you good tips! ;-)
    a Hungarian blogger from Budapest

    http://www.fashionandmargarita.blogspot.com

  • Dede

    Wow, I’m sure that just snuck up on you. I can imagine how you felt.

  • Rolay Diamonds

    Beautiful. TRUELY is something to hold on to.

  • Julia

    This is so beautiful Emily! Totally understand what you feel, it happens to me sometimes. It makes me feel good for having a moment like this in memory, but at the same time it’s difficult to think about the people that can’t be with us anymore.
    Kisses from Brazil,
    Julia

  • http://flysongbird.blogspot.in debi c

    i am feeling pretty blue already..this made me feel more blue.

  • http://www.phatjill.blogspot.com Jill

    I feel for you. My grandma passed away just a few months ago. I’ll be thinking I’m fine and then some small thing will remind me of her or something we did together, and I’ll lose it. Time doesn’t really heal the pain. We’ll never get over losing loved ones, we just have to learn to go on without them while also cherishing their memory. <3

  • http://novembergrey.blogspot.com Tanya Dempsey

    Oh man… I’m so pregnant and hormonal. This just made me cry my eyes out. I love your personal posts. Just beautiful.

    T xx

    November Grey

  • http://i-can-macaron.blogspot.de Lila DA

    Thats so sad :-( and touching !

    Visit my Macaron Blog :

    http://i-can-macaron.blogspot.de

  • http://lifestyleflash.com Becky | life.style.flash.

    Thanks for sharing this story Emily, it must’ve been hard to write but you’ve done so beautifully.

    Sending you a big hug!

    Becky | life.style.flash. x

  • http://dorasstoryinwordsandpictures.blogspot.ch/ Dora Kosak

    Oh Hungarian Backgrounds too! Hungarian Grandparents are the BEST! I enjoy ever minute I can spend with my one remaining Grandfather, which is hard, since I live in Switzerland and he in Hungary.
    Lovely Post!

    http://dorasstoryinwordsandpictures.blogspot.ch/

  • laguna

    ooh you have hungarian roots? i’m from hungary :)

  • Azu

    Emily,

    I am terribly sorry about your loss. He sounded like a wonderful person. I enjoyed reading the little story and you wrote it so beautifully. I got that little pain in my chest I get when I’m about to cry. Very touching post. And a great picture to go along with it :)

    Lots of love,

    Azu

    http://www.raven-locks.blogspot.com

  • fifinne

    Emily!
    This post was really beautiful + touching.

    And I couldn’t help but noticing, that your grandpa was hungarian! So you’re part hungarian.:) Weeheee, so cool (surprise) I’m from Hungary, reading + loving your blog since million years ago, but never left any comments. But here I am!

  • http://www.thebudgetbabe.com Dianna

    Aw Emily! so sad yet sweet. And so weird because yesterday, I cried at Whole Foods. Bumped into a friend who asked about my sister, who lives half-way across the country from me, and I miss her so much. Thanks for sharing these moments with us.

  • Katherine

    The best words read for today…. Thank you Emily….

  • Kelsey

    Emily,

    It is ironic I saw this post this morning. Yesterday some of my family and I watched a video of my late grandfather holding his first great-grandchild. The minute he came on the screen I burst into tears. Hold onto the great memories you have with your grandfather and let the tears remind you of how he touched your heart and your life. <3

  • Maricel

    It touched me as well. My father passed away ten years ago. We had a joint account. I haven’t have the heart to close it. So each time I get a new check book, it still has his name on in as well as mine. It is a way of keeping him alive.
    PD: I write checks not so often…but still I have them.

  • http://www.justmeaghan.com Meaghan

    Aw, I’m sorry. :( Grandpa’s are the best, I miss mine every day. I’m so thankful of the wonderful memories I had with my Pop Pop though and will never ever ever forget him.
    Crap, now I’m teary eyed at work. :(

  • http://WWW.THE-LOUDMOUTH.COM THE-LOUDMOUTH

    I love when you give us a personal glimpse of who you are.

  • Agnes

    Just so that you know, you have quite some Hungarian fans here:) So great that someone from our origin is doing such a classy and fabulous job!

  • http://www.tomsoutletusaonline.com/ merckenzie

    So beautifully written. Thank you for sharing,it is very good.toms

  • http://thefamilystandardblog.com Adriana

    What a nice post – thank you for sharing this!